Sunday, July 25, 2010

Way behind...

So not only are my attempts at interesting blogs lagging behind, but my actually reading of them are as well! So tonight I've taken sometime to sit down and catch myself up on everyone else's happenings!!

I was pleased to find a LOT of happy and positive vibes being spread out there in blogging world. With so much turmoil going on, I find myself getting caught up in other's heartache and inevitably ending up in tears after venturing into cyber space!!

With that said, I promise to make a better attempt at supporting you all!! I don't always comment, but am I truly touched by each of your lives and stories, many of which have made me a better person!!

As for my life, this past weekend I became CRAFTY! I have been wanting to purchase a sewing machine for some time now. So I finally took the plunge on Saturday. After my weekly Hobby Lobby fix I had found myself with tons of fabric and patterns, but alas no sewing machine. One not so quick trip to Walmart (let's face it when is that place ever in and out?) later and I was a proud owner of a Brother's sewing machine.

After moving my office space into the spare bedroom, Joshua helped me set up shop. (I swear he thinks I'm going to be making all of our clothes, and churning butter-if that's the case we shall be naked and hungry) My first sad attempt was a burp cloth. While usable, it's cosmetic appeal is humorous!! Next I made a matching burp cloth, apron, and a wall organizer. While I don't have the photo evidence as of yet, I will try to prove my skills to you soon!!

I also gave a go at some diaper wreaths. These are turning out way, way cute, and since the girls I am making them for follow my blog, pictures will just have to wait until after the shower!! So YAY me!!

Let's face it, I am a SAHM, and while Barney and Elmo appeal to my younger heart, I am in desperate need of a hobby!! So atleast this can keep me busy while the little one naps, and I'm being creative!! I have an audition coming up in August for a great choir out here!! Maybe that'll help me with getting out of the house a bit more!! ;0) Happy blogging all!

Thursday, July 22, 2010

Paranoid Parenting!!!

I think at one point or another every parent has a paranoid moment! For me it was fear that Lena was going to choke in her sleep if I wasn't right at her side. For Josh, it's recently been the fear of carbon monoxide (our alarm went off the other night, but the fire dept. detected nothing! Probably a technical error)

I'm not exactly sure how my generation and those that came before me are even alive. Today's "media" warns of harmful chemicals in your food, blindness if you sit to close to the t.v, germs that infest any and EVERYthing, a fear of hospitals, and of course to help you with all of these horrific things they convince to buy some other product to get you through it! I wonder if anyone else sees the coincidence here??

I like to call those that fall into this category paranoid parents!! I'm not judging, just as I mentioned earlier, I have fallen into this category once or twice myself. Just the other day I bought an organic rice cereal for Lena as opposed to the Gerber brand. My theory was that it had to be better for her, however I payed twice as much and when comparing the ingredients there was a minimal difference. Yep I was completely sucked in!

I'm trying to learn to go with my gut, and instinct as opposed to being sucked into this paranoia that Hollywood has ultimately created! Thank you Brangelina!! I have to remember that I was formula fed, ate McDonald's every week my entire childhood, drank as many cokes as I wanted, and ABSOLUTELY loved the television! I am not obese, don't have any uncurable ailments, I've always scored high on tests, have a degree, and a very successful life!!

I don't have a problem with the stir crazy paranoia until hurtful words get involved. I'm talking about the mothers that criticize other mothers for their way of parenting! I can't tell you how many articles, books, and blogs I've read that end up putting mother's down for not breastfeeding or using the tv to get something done!! Shouldn't we all be on the same team here? Aren't we all learning?

I believe that as mother's we should only support one another. I breastfed exclusively for two months, but due to personal circumstances had to begin supplementing with formula. To be honest with you, it was nice to get a bit of a break. I live EIGHT hours away from any of my family, so my support system in NC is little to none! I am on my own from 6-4 every single day. I don't have a mom or grandmother coming out every other day to clean my house, cook my meals, or just watch my child. I'm not complaining, but I'm also not saying that it's easy. Having to sit down every two hours to feed, and every other hour to pump, on top of the rest of a day to day schedule left me completely exhausted. Then with nighttime I was left to do every single feed. While loving the connection and bond I had with my little nugget, I also embraced being able to share the responsibilty with my husband when the formula was introduced. And I believe that he too found a bonding experience by being able to sit down quitely and just stare at his daughter while nururing her. So no, giving Lena formula has not made me a bad mother. It's also, in my opinion helped my marriage significantly!

While this might be a bit much information, I feel the need to share. As a breastfeeding mother you begin to view yourself and "the girls" as pure business. After having a baby stuck to them all day, the last thing you want or need that night is your other baby latched on (the hubs). Formula feeding gave me (and my husband) my body back. Let's be honest, you don't feel sexy in a breastfeeding bra covered in milk and spit up!! And being intimate is a part of marriage and love. :0) I won't mention any more, I think you get the jist of that!

I would have loved to have been able to breastfeed Lena for a longer period of time, and I still try to atleast twice a day!

Again, I'm not judging any mother on the way they choose to raise their children! I believe we all go on instinct and try to do the best we know how! But it's not easy, you know it, and I know it! So let's show some more compassion for one another! Let's look at the end result, as opposed to how we got there! With God and Love a household can never go wrong!!

Friday, July 16, 2010

Making it!!

If there's one thing that I have learned in my nearly four months of parenthood, it's that patience is by far a HUGE virtue!! I'm sure other mommies (esp stay at home moms) can relate!! The last few weeks we have been dealing with these horrible on and off crying tantrums. I would build it up to colic, but the fact that she is literally taking our hands, sticking them in her mouth, and gnawing down as hard as she can, really leads us to believe that her little toothers are causing her some major issues!

I absolutely HATE not being able to fix what's wrong, so the crying ensues. I felt horrible yesterday, because I called Josh and asked him to come home, instead of going bike riding with friends. I was literally at my wits end. She screamed from the moment she woke up till about 4. The only time she calmed down was to eat, and the few times I got her to take a cat nap. I feel like a horrible person when I let my frustrations get the better of me, but hey, I'm only human.

I could tell that Josh wasn't too thrilled with having to give up his man date, but you're a parent now. This comes with sacrifice, and learning to put this amazing little life above anything else...including bike riding. For me, my usual summers of tanning, cocktails, and gossip are no where to be found. And that's ok!! I love being a mommy!! But I won't lie when I say there are days I could just sit and cry with her!

Josh finally got her to suck on an ice cube through a rag, which seemed to really calm her down. Trust me I tried it all. The frozen pacifiers would work, until they thawed out 30 seconds later. She HATE orajel, I mean fights with me to get it in her mouth, and the teething tablet magic seems to have disappeared!! A nice warm bubble bath helps her relax and take her mind off of it for a minute, but once she remembers, she's back to screaming.

So here I am. Learning to be a mommy!! My dad told me that once I became a mom, I would find patience in me I didn't know I had. Wow...was he ever right!! It's not Lena's crying that bothers me, it's that I feel like a failure when I can't make her stop! PreBaby whenever I heard a little one wail, I would literally cringe from head to toe. And think...that's why I can't have kids!! How horrible right??

Anywho, we are making it!! I know these moments of frustration will pass. I'm grateful there's no fever, or anything serious that's she's dealing with! None-the-less I hate seeing her so upset!! **sigh** Today's been a bit better, I guess the fact that we've both bathed and been clothed helps the situation out!!

I hope you all have an amazing weekend!! Happy Blogging!

Thursday, July 15, 2010

I believe.....

I believe that Jesus Christ is our Savior and you must accept Him as such to make it to Heaven.

I believe that life isn't always pretty or easy, but it's the hard times that make the good worth while.

I believe that you should smile, even if all you can do is cry!!

I believe in miracles and faith.

I believe that if I continue to do laundry, it will one day disappear all together!!

I believe that a clean home makes my days just a bit brighter.

I believe in singing whenever the urge hits you!

I believe everyone should move away from home, atleast once in their lives. It give you a new found perspective on yourself, and a better appreciation for your family!

I believe that when you become a parent, it is time to quit acting like a kid.

I believe in Santa Claus!!

I believe in equality, but I also believe that certain life luxuries should be earned.

I believe that you should NOT live together before you are married. In my personal opinion it's just a cop out, and all you are doing is playing pretend!

I believe in prayer. And although every prayer of mine hasn't been answered, God has never left me without anything I need.

I believe in America and stand for what we once were. A place where hard work and determination could give you your dreams, as opposed to a country where everyone seems to have their hand out!! GIMME GIMME GIMME!!

I believe that you should always be nice to people. You never know their situation.

I believe in taking every opportunity life throws at you and running with it.

I believe you should tell people when they've upset you, and then let it go. Holding it in only makes it worse!

I believe that when I've had the worse of days, I can look at my little Lena smile, and everything goes away.

I believe that death is just a part of life, and once you accept it you can truly start to live.

And when all else fails, I believe in Love.

Monday, July 12, 2010

Yesterday, Today, and Tomorrow!!!

So as I previously warned, my blogging has taken a HUGE backseat to my hectic and amazing life. Weekend before last we got to celebrate the 4th of July with what I am considering the best neighborhood...EVER!! Laurie De Esch (and of course her hubs) were gracioius enough to open up their front and back yard to host a block party. Tons of good food, great company, and of course ooing and awwing over my ridiculously adorable daughter. Ok, maybe I am partial to my own child, but aren't we all!! The fireworks were RIDICULOUS!! Ok, I am from Kentucky where you have to drive down to TN to get the "good stuff", which inevitably adds up to about 2 hours worth of bottle rockets. These were the nice, pretty ones that went...KABOOM! And believe it or not Lena LOVE LOVE LOVED THEM! No surprise, she enjoys her mobile, and pretty colors, so naturally she's like fireworks. Thanks again to the De Esch family for an amazing time!!

This past weekend one of my best friends, Emily, and her adorable two year old, Jackson, came to visit! We had an amazing time with both of them. Emily and I got a lot of shopping done, and some great pool time in. Jackson and Lena also discovered their love for one another!!

Besides all of the fun visitors and activities we've had going on, Ms. Lena is really starting to grow up! (don't I say that in every post??) We've recently discovered her admiration for Elmo, Barney, and Baby Einstein!! What a blessing all of these videos have been for me!! Not only is my house cleaner, but so am I!! YAY!! She's too stinkin cute sittin in her swing watching and playing along with these videos. Mom constantly tells me that I loved to watch t.v. when I was a little girl (not much has changed) so naturally my baby would love to veg out as well!! We have also discovered our walker. She can get her self pushed pretty far, but it takes her a few minutes to get there! However, her new found independence has been a reminder that this stage of her life is so short. Another reassurance that, for me, being a stay at home mom was the best decision I could have ever made!! We are also working on moving her into her crib at night, something that has been extrememly hard!! I know that I like to have her near me because it's comforting, but I also know that the longer I wait the harder it's going to get! She does nap in her crib during the day, or bassinet. So we've started putting her in their first thing in the evenings. She usually lasts a couple of hours before she wakes up and realizes we aren't there. If we are already in bed and settling down she is then comforted, and put down in her bassinet in our room! So the move is slow going, but I have a feeling that one night we will lay her in there, and she will just sleep through the night. I am sure my heart will break into a million pieces, and my mommy tears will ensue, but I'd rather her grow up than not!!

Hopefully this next month will be pretty quiet in our lives. We looove to go go go, and trust me, we have, but I think I am ready to just sit down and be a little family for a bit! I am hoping that we can get togeth with mom and dad before September. I don't know if I (or they) can go that long without seeing one another (aka without seeing Lena) If not, we have plans to visit them and their new home for labor day!! Before that (Aug 21) Josh and I are going to see the Zac Brown Band. I got him tickets for our anniversary, and we are both pretty pumped about it! His dad and stepmom are going to come in that weekend and watch Lena that night for us! That will be our 3rd night out without the baby! It's very hard to leave her, and I usually at some point get this ache to have her near, but I know that it's good for us. ESP since we are still newlyweds!

Oh, and did I mention I am throwing a baby shower for two of my neighbors!! I am soo very excited about this! Since they are both having their babies in the fall I've decided to them it "Little Pumpkins"!! I have a lot of cute little ideas for it, and can't wait to share how it goes over with you all!!

So there's life yesterday, today, and tomorrow!! Again, sorry for the lack of blogging enthusiasm!! Hopefully I can become more motivated to do something other than coo at my three moth old for a few minutes a day!!

Happy blogging!!!

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

What would you have done??

I get "junk" email daily. Many of which from my husband, but for whatever reason, I opened up this one and read every word, and ended up crying at the end. So, I wanted to share this story with you that so deeply touched me this afternoon, and ask what would you have done??? (I apologize for the crazy format. It was copied and pasted from my email)

Written by Beth Moore:
April 20, 2005, at the Airport in Knoxville ,waiting to board the plane, I had the Bible on my lap and was very intent upon what I wasdoing. I'd had a
marvelous morning with the Lord. I say this because I want
to tell you it is a scary thing to have the Spirit of God really working in you. You could end up doing some things you never would have done otherwise. Life in the Spirit can be dangerous for a thousand reasons, not the least of
which is your ego. I tried to keep from staring, but he was such a strange sight. Humped over in a wheelchair, he was skin and bones, dressed in clothes that obviously fit when he was at least twenty pounds heavier. His knees protruded from his trousers, and his shoulders looked like the coat hanger was still in his shirt. His hands looked like tangled masses of veins and bones.

The strangest part of him was his hair and nails. Stringy, gray hair hung well over his shoulders and down part of his back. His fingernails were long, clean but strangely out of place on an old man. I looked down at my Bible as fast as I could, discomfort burning my face. As I tried to imagine what his story might have been, I
found myself wondering if I'd just had a Howard Hughes sighting. Then, I remembered that he was dead. So this man in the airport... an impersonator maybe? Was a camera on us somewhere? There I sat; trying to concentrate on the Word to keep from being concerned about a thin slice of humanity served up on a wheelchair only a few seats from me. All the while, my heart was growing more and more overwhelmed with a feeling for him. Let's admit it. Curiosity is a heap more comfortable than true concern, and suddenly I was awash with aching emotion for this
bizarre-looking old man. I had walked with God long enough to see the handwriting on the wall. I've learned that when I begin to feel what God feels, something so contrary to my natural feelings, something dramatic is bound to happen. And it may be embarrassing.

I immediately began to resist because I could feel God working on my spirit and I started arguing with God in my mind. 'Oh, no, God,please, no' I looked up at the ceiling as if I could stare straight through it into heaven and said, 'Don't make me witness to this man. Not right here and now. Please. I'll do anything. Put me on the same plane, but don't make me get up here and witness to this man in
front of this gawking audience. Please, Lord!'

There I sat in the blue vinyl chair begging His Highness, 'Pleasedon't make me witness to this man. Not now. I'll do it on the plane.' Then I heard it...'I don't want you to witness to him. I want you to brush his hair.'

The words were so clear, my heart leapt into my throat, and my thoughts spun like a top. Do I witness to the man or brush his hair? No-brainer. I looked straight back up at the ceiling and said, 'God,as I live and breathe, I want you to know I am ready to witness to this man.
I'm on this Lord. I'm your girl! You've never seen a woman
witness to a man faster in your life. What difference does it make if his
hair is a mess if he is not redeemed? I am going to witness to this man.' Again, as clearly as I've ever heard an audible word, God seemed to write this statement across the wall of my mind. 'That is not what I said, Beth. I don't want you to witness to him. I want you to go brush his hair.' I looked up at God and quipped, 'I don't have a hairbrush. It's in my suitcase on the plane. How am I supposed to brush his hair without a hairbrush?'

God was so insistent that I almost involuntarily began to walk toward him as these thoughts came to me from God's word: 'I will thoroughly furnish you unto all good works.' (2 Timothy 3:17)

I stumbled over to the wheelchair thinking I could use one myself. Even as I retell this story, my pulse quickens and I feel those same butterflies. I knelt down in front of the man and asked as demurely as possible, 'Sir, may I have the pleasure of brushing your hair?'

He looked back at me and said, 'What did you say?'
'May I have the pleasure of brushing your hair?'
To which he responded in volume ten, 'Little lady, if you expect me to hear you, you're going to have to talk louder than that.'
At this point, I took a deep breath and blurted out, 'SIR, MAY I HAVE THE PLEASURE OF BRUSHING YOUR HAIR?' At which point every eye in the place darted right at me. I was the only thing in the room looking more peculiar than old Mr. Long Locks. Face crimson and forehead breaking out in a sweat, I watched him look up at me with absolute shock on his face, and say, 'If you really want to.'

Are you kidding? Of course I didn't want to. But God didn't seem interested in my personal preference right about then. He pressed on my heart until I could utter the words, 'Yes, sir, I would be pleased. But I have one little problem. I don't
have a hairbrush.' 'I have one in my bag,' he responded.

I went around to the back of that wheelchair, and I got on my hands and knees and unzipped the stranger's old carry-on, hardly believing what I was doing. I stood up and started brushing the old man's hair. It was perfectly clean, but it was
tangled and matted. I don't do many things well, but must admit I've had notable
experience untangling knotted hair mothering two little girls. Like I'd done with either Amanda or Melissa in such a condition, I began brushing at the very bottom of the strands, remembering to take my time not to pull.

A miraculous thing happened to me as I started brushing that old man's hair. Everybody else in the room disappeared. There was no one alive for those moments except that old man and me. I brushed and I brushed and I brushed until every tangle was out of that hair. I know this sounds so strange, but I've never felt that kind of love for another soul in my entire life. I believe with all my heart, I - for that few minutes - felt a portion of the very love of God. That He had overtaken my
heart for a little while like someone renting a room and making Himself at home for a short while.

The emotions were so strong and so pure that I knew they had to be God's. His hair was finally as soft and smooth as an infant's. I slipped the brush back in the bag and went around the chair to face him. I got back down on my knees, put my hands on his knee and said, 'Sir, do you know my Jesus?'

> He said, 'Yes, I do'

> Well, that figures, I thought.

> He explained, 'I've known Him since I married my bride. She wouldn't marry me until I got to know the Savior.' He said,
'You see, the problem is, I haven't seen my bride in months. I've
had open-heart surgery, and she's been too ill to come see me. I
was sitting here thinking to myself, what a mess I must be for
my bride.'

> Only God knows how often He allows us to be part of a divine moment when we're completely unaware of the significance. This, on the other hand, was one of those rare encounters when I knew God had intervened in details only He could have known. It was a God moment, and I'll never forget it. Our time came to board, and we were not on the same plane. I was deeply ashamed of how I'd acted earlier and would have been so proud to have accompanied him on that aircraft.

I still had a few minutes, and as I gathered my things to board, the airline hostess returned from the corridor, tears streaming down her cheeks She said, 'That old man's sitting on the plane, sobbing.

Why did you do that? What made you do that?'

I said, 'Do you know Jesus? He can be the bossiest thing!'
And we got to share.

I learned something about God that day. He knows if you're exhausted, you're hungry, you're serving in the wrong place or it is time to move on but you feel too responsible to budge. He knows if you're hurting or feeling rejected. He knows if you're sick or drowning under a wave of temptation. Or He knows if you just need your hair brushed. He sees you as an individual. Tell Him your need! I got on my own flight, sobs choking my throat, wondering how many opportunities just like that one had I missed along the way... all because I didn't want people to think I was strange..God didn't send me to that old man. He sent that old man to me.

Please share this wonderful story.

'Life isn't about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain!'

So, again I ask...."what would you have done??"