Monday, June 28, 2010

Three Months....and more!!

Tomorrow will be Lena Belle's three month "birthday". I can not believe how big my baby girl is getting. She's never really been what I would consider "baby, baby". My child has to be entertained, she will only sit straight up and down, leaning back is out of the picture, wants to be able to see the tv, jibber jabbers constantly, and tonight added blowing her tongue to her fabulous resume. Needless to say she is one amazing handful. I mean at 3 months she can already sit her self up in your lap, it's ridiculous how well developed my baby girl is, and I couldn't be more proud, and sad at the same time of how quickly she is learning and growing. I swear once she gets full control fo those legs and hands she's going to take off and never look back.

I am truly cherishing this stage of her life. There's nothing more satisfying and rewarding then walking into the room and your little one lighting up with joy to see you, or the fact that they can be fussy and crying when everyone else is holding them, but somehow the second momma gets hold of them life is just better. I know this stage is going to fly by, so I want to truly bask in it and just enjoy it.

On another note, this was one of the busiest and most productive weekends we've endured since Lena made her arrival. As mentioned in the previous post Josh's mom, nana, and poppy came out this past weekend and Josh and his Poppy were able to get our new hardwood floors down. They look amazing. I will post before and after in a later post. It's amazing what a new floor can do for your home. Not that I didn't already love my home, but now I feel like I never want to leave my living room.

This past weekend was also mine and Josh's one year anniversary. Can you believe it's been a year already?? Ok skip that...Can you believe it's ONLY been a year!! LoL...I won't even attempt to list everything that has happened sice we said "I Do", but I will say that I wouldn't have done it any other way. I absolutely love this life, and I know you are all sick of me saying it, but it's true. I live an absolutely blessed life and try to give thanks for it each and every day! For our anniversary Josh took me to Uptown (center of Charlotte) where he had made reservations at McCormick and Schmitts for dinner. It's a wonderful seafood restaurant where I enjoyed some yummy Lobster Ravioli in a white wine sauce and snow crab meat. I think I ate it in about 2 minutes it was that delicious. He suprised me in the car before we left with some beautiful diamond studs, he thought I might want to wear them out that night!! :0) I have to say I was HIGHLY impressed, and suddenly forgot everything that he had ever done wrong. SOOO gentlemen you can't go wrong with Diamonds, and Hardwood- floors that is!!

It's been a wonderful visit with Josh's family. We got some pool time in, and some nice shopping done. I will have to brag about my amazing bargains I found at HomeGoods this weekend in another post, along with pictures of our amazing accomplishments! I hope everyone had an amazing weekend as well!! Happy Blogging to all!!

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Busy Bees...

So the next few weeks are going to prove to be chaotic, and fabulous. Tomorrow evening we have Josh's grandparents and mom coming out to visit us. This is a blessing. You see his poppy is coming out to help Josh lay our new hardwood flooring we just bought, and I know that with his MoM and Nana both here I will have a bit of time to get a few things done around the house, and possibly a better tan!! :0) Next weekend is the fourth of July, and my husband did have me all excited about a trip to Hilton Head (something for work) but he couldn't get a hold of the guy about the trip and his spot was filled. Total bummer, but we will survive, who needs a luxury hotel with an amazing ocean view and room service anyways!?!?! For the fourth a "neighbor", I put it in quotes because she lives waay waay up the street and around the corner, is having a big to do. This shoudl prove to be a blast, hopefully my little fussy britches will hold out long enough for daddy and I to have a bit of adult interaction.

Then the following weekend my friend Emily and her little boy Jackson are coming out for a visit. The plan is to have some pool time, take in some retail, and just relax! The next weekend Josh's dad and stepmom are planning to swing in for a visit- whew!! Talk about a mad house!! I Love having people over, hate the work and preparedness that comes along with it (ie grocery shopping and toilet cleaning) It is however way worth it!! August seems to be pretty mild for us, we have plans to go out to my mom and dads for Labor Day weekend, I can not wait to see their new home. And nothing else from that point until Revival at home. Maybe we will throw in a tiny family vaca in between it all!!

To say the least we are very blessed with a large and loving family. And although we don't get to see one another as often as we like, we definitely appreciate our time together. Well that was a rambling mess!! Happy Blogging!!

Monday, June 21, 2010


So today I chose to wake up feeling thankful. I know that I, personally, allow myself to get down from time to time. It always seems that just when I get all of my pieces picked up something comes along to knock them out of my hands and scatter them all over the floor. But I realize that nothing i have ever gone through is even remotely close to the suffering and pain of others out there in the world. It's always true, no matter what you are going through, there is someone out there going through something much more destructive.

So after the last three months of scare after scare, pain after pain, and small battle after battle I've come to realize that everything I went through was ultimately nothing but a small road bump in my everyday perfect little life, and for that I should be grateful. I've got to learn to view my struggles as lessons and listen to what they are trying to tell me- Life is a gift that can be taken in the blink of an eye, so truly live each day as your last, never want for anything and appreciate all that you've got, love unconditionally- even to those that may hurt you, smile a LOT things always feel better if you just smile, try not to take life too seriously, SLOW DOWN you are not superwoman and no one in their right mind expects you to be, pray always- through the bad and through the good, give without judgement, and realize that this life is simply a "lay over" for something much more beautiful!!

So today I chose to wake up and be thankful!!

There's a roof up above me, I've a good place to sleep.
There's food on my table, and shoes on my feet.
You gave me Your love, Lord, and a fine family.
Thank you, Lord, for Your blessings on me.

I hope everyone had a wonderful Father's Day Weekend!!

Saturday, June 19, 2010

Even though...

So even though I've been in utter and complete pain, we have still had a great weekend thus far. Luckily I went Wednesday afternoon and got Josh hisd gift and card for father's day. Whew, he would have been completely disappointed had I not been able to get him something!! It's nothing big, but it is something I am sure he will enjoy and use!! (Men are so hard to buy for, let's not even mention that next weekend is my anniversary and I am at a complete loss on what to buy him, any suggestions??)

I spent my afternoon yesterday laying inside on a chair, and even mixed it up a bit by laying outside on a chair!! I was able to get a small bit of sun and the beautiful day helped put me in a great mood, which the hubby appreciated. Poor Josh has been stuck doing all the cleaning, cooking, and tending to a needy 3 month old. As harsh as this may sound it's been kind of nice watching him struggle. Sometimes I don't think he understands all that I do and how utterly exhausting it can be.

On another note I can definitely tell that I am starting to lose inches in my waist. Josh even made a comment yesterday when I came in from laying out that my waist looked tiny- and boy did that make my day. I've not been making any large drastic change in my diet or daily routine. Instead of my usual bowl of cinnamon toast cruch and a coke for breakfast (healthy I know) I have had 2 hardboiled eggs and a glass of milk. Lunch has been invested in a lean pocket-mainly because I think they are really yummy, not because of the health content, and dinner has been a homemade meal consisting of veggies, baked meats, and a vitamin. So my sacrafice in the food department has been the bare minimum. I am doing situps, leg workouts, and stuff for these nice love handles first thing in the mornings (well before I hurt my back). I have discovered that if I don't do them as soon as I get up, I will get lazy and not do them at I figure if I start my day off right it's easier for me to keep the positive pace!!

I'll keep you updated on my progress. Again, I'm not interested in the scale and the "weight". I simply want to look at myself and be proud of what I see, and slowly but surely I am getting there!!

So happy blogging world!! Have an amazing Father's Day weekend- we are off to the pool!

Thursday, June 17, 2010

Really?? Something Else? CMON!!

Ok, so today's events proved large and important enough to blog about them. Allow me to add another chapter to my "dramatic novel":

This afternoon, after spending a pajama wonderfully lazy morning with my baby, I decided it was time for Lena and I to do something with ourselves. Once upstairs I changed her diaper, had an in depth conversation with her about poo, and went to lay her in her crib. Here's where the scary excitement begins. While bent over, and near the mattress to her crib I suddenly felt an odd sensation shoot up my back, and BAM....I hit the floor. My legs had completely collapsed under me. (Side not: Lena is fine and landed safely in her crib.) I took a moment to assess what had just happened and quickly noticed a horrific pain in my lower back, I could not move. I tried for about 20 minutes to get myself rolled over into a comfortable position and quickly came to terms with the fact I was going to have to find a way to get mobile. You see, I had left my phone downstairs on the kitchen counter and was stranded, with a baby that would soon be screaming. I was able to reach up around Lena's crib and turn on a toy mom had gotten her last time she was in. It was able to keep her pleased for about 10-15 minutes, long enough for me to cry, scream, pray, and come up with a plan. After another 15 minutes or so I pulled myself together and was able to get into a position to crawl.

As soon as I was about to get out of Lena's room the crying began. Note, she was fed, changed, and should other wise be happy, and I am sure she was just tired and wanting to be held. So now the dilemma was to either keep moving forward to the stairs to get my phone, or turn and go back to check on Lena. I chose the first, simply because there was nothing I could do for Lena. I had no bottle, and was not able to stand, and even if I could there was NO WAY I would ever risk picking her up and dropping her because of another fall. So my journey continued onward. Tears streamed down my face because I felt so unbelievably helpless and hated not being able to to care for my baby girl.

I finally made it down the stairs, and how I did, I will never know. I crawled to the kitchen where I reached for my phone on the counter and quickly called answer. I remembered a bottle I had made for Lena before going upstairs and thank goodness she hadn't been to interested in it. I crawled to the table where I grabbed it, and began my long journey back up the stairs. After about two crawls up the staircase I was in utter pain and had to take a moment. I finally got in touch with Josh, who no doubt thought I was dieing because of my crying and hysterics. After talking to him and letting him know what was going on and he reassuring me he'd be there shortly, I continued up the stairs. This time though I was using the railing to hoist myself up, trying to keep as much pressure and weight off my back as possible. Another 5-10 minutes went by and I was at Lena's side with a bottle stuck through the crib just too her mouth. It calmed her for a minute, but I knew she just wanted to be held and rocked, something I could not do for her.

During this time I had called my mom, simply because I needed someone to talk to me and help calm me. Her suggestion was to call the ambulance, no matter when Josh got there, there was no way he could get me to the car, and I didn't have the strength to crawl back down. Remember, Lena and I had enjoyed a lazy morning...meaning I was still in my tank top and shorts pajama set, with no bra, makeup still on from the day before, and chlorine filled hair from the pool that evening, embarrassing and unattractive. But I called anyways. Shortly after Theresa and her daughters showed up to my rescue. Josh had called Allen (a gentleman he works with) and he got a hold of his wife and daughters and explained the situation. They quickly tended to Lena and got her calmed down, which also really helped my nerves out. Josh soon followed, and then the paramedics.

They got me down the stairs and into the ambulance to the ER. Here I found out that I had slipped a disc, causing a ton of pain and swelling, and complete shock and fear! So now, only days after being unable to pick up my baby due to a biopsy, I am now layed up in bed because of these crazy stretched out ligaments after giving birth. My sanity is riding on the hope that nothing else goes on in my life!! Thank the good Lord that nothing has turned out to be too serious and has all been manageable. It can always be worse.

I did learn a valueable lesson today though: ALWAYS shower and clean your home the second you wake never know what could happen!! ;0)

Turtle floats....

Yesterday we took Lena for her first visit to our neighborhood pool. I don't know what my problem is, but anytime we get out in a public area where there are likely to be a lot of people my nerves get the best of me. I worry about her crying and throwing a fit, ultimately ruining everyone's good time. She's only about 3 months old, so remember this momy thing is still relatively new to me!!

Where was I?? Ahh yes, Lena's first swim. She absolutely loved it, for about 10 minutes. We didn't get out there until about 6:45/7ish and my baby was tired and getting fussy. After taking a swim for a bit it was sleepy time for her.

I bought her the cutest turtle float (Joshua thinks I am trying to brainwash my baby into becoming a DZ) the unfortunate thing is that it's still a bit big for her. I have had the worse luck finding a float deamed suitable enough for a little baby!! **sigh** Her daddy took her in the water first. I could see the hesitation in her eyes as she appeared to be looking for her bathtub duck (there is a duck on her waterspout in her bathtub that she carries on deep conversation with at every bath!!) She quickly became amused. I took her out of the float for a bit and let her lay on her back in the water, until she realized that she was becoming relaxed and sleepy. Thus the fussiness ensued. After a bottle and a quick rock she was off to dreamland. Josh and I layed out for a bit and after an hour of this new adventure we decided to journey home!!

So to say the least the pool was a success, and I hope to have many days filled with sun bathing and turtle floats!!

Friday, June 11, 2010

Is it ok to scream now??

Ms. Lena Belle is already 2 months a couple of weeks. Whoa, where does that time go. But, this also means that I am 2 months postpartum and to be honest am disguested with myself. I absolutely HATE HATE HATE my body. To be fair, I am just now in a position where it's ok to work out. After my six week checkup we were out of town for a week, then came back, had the stress of the biopsy, and my mom has been out here the past week. Sooo, with that being said. I had a check up at my Doctor's office yesterday and after weigh in I realized that I still had 15 plus pounds to lose!! AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! (It feels more like 100) I don't plan on trying to get back down to my "pre preggo" weight. I had just gotten married and lost a bunch of unnecessary weight to fit into my wedding dress, that had miraculously shrunk!! Weird...I know!!

Even more so than the weight, the stretch marks! I have this horrid looking road map located from my love handles down to my thighs. And trust me, no one wants directions around my booty these days! I know my frustrations are normal, self centered, and ridiculous. But it's bikini season ladies and gentlemen, and mommy just bought a one piece with a skirt!! AHHHHHHHH again!! So next week will hopefully begin a regular workout routine. I've considered buying WII fit, just because I think I need something that I will enjoy and not dread. I have P90x, but my child needs me to be around a little while longer, and I feel that this will only prevoke a cardiac arrest!! Maybe I'll just do the yoga and abs section!!?? Any suggestions on what worked for you to get off your unwanted baby weight!!?? Please don't tell me to cut out baby also needs my sanity!! ;0)

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

So the Good News....

Yesterday afternoon I received a call from the nurse (Ruth) at the Breast Health center. The news was good...great..amazing...a relief!! The list could go on and on. The tumor found in my right breast is benign!! THANK YOU JESUS!! Turns out it's a fibroadenoma. Basically just a big ole lump. They assume it's probably a tumor that's been there for most of my life, but when I got pregnant my changing hormones caused it to grow...and grow...I'm not kidding, this thing is not some tiny little bump!!!

This last year has proven to be one stressful, and amazing time. I don't think I have ever been so truly terrified of something in my life. I know as a Christian I should trust and have faith, but all that would cross my mind was "what a cruel joke"! I get my life just the way it's supposed to be, and am completely happy and I can just see it all disappearing. More so I worried about Lena, I really didn't want her to grow up with out me. Selfish, I know....but until you face the scary you never know how you will react. I hate that these things crossed my mind at times. The amazing thing is that I am truly grateful for all of the blessings He has bestowed on me. I don't deserve any of it, and once again he answered an amazingly large prayer sent up.

Thank you to all for the kind words, thoughts, etc!! You never know what it means to someone just to hear "I love you" or "You're in our Prayers".

Monday, June 7, 2010

Today, we breathe!!

First let me start by saying sorry! Life has kind of happened over the last couple of weeks, and hasn't left me with much time to blog. Since we last "chatted" Lena Belle has turned 2 months, taken her first road trip, made a ton of new friends, and we have quite possibly gone through one of the most stressful and horrifying times in our life!!

I'll start with the bad. A few weeks ago, while nursing, I discovered what I believed to be a rather large lump in my breast. **Gasp** I brought it up at my next doctor's appointment, and she decided it was best to go ahead and schedule an ultrasound, just to rule out anything scary. I had my ultrasound the Friday before Memorial Day weekend. After the radiologist came in and looked at the mass his first word was "tumor". I'm pretty sure that at that moment my stomach dropped to the floor. He began talking, but I was so focused on my horror and fear, that I really couldn't hear or comprehend much of what he was saying. After I was able to calm down and get the tear to quit flowing I was able to focus more on what was going on. He was pretty sure that the tumor was benign, but I was going to need a biopsy to be for certain. Since we had plans to go out of town the week of Memorial Day, I scheduled it for the Monday morning after. (I was assured by the doctor there was no need to rush and to go enjoy my week with my family) So, I had the biopsy this morning. Dr. Gerdes seemed to be pretty convinced that it's a Lactating Adenoma-basically just a big ole collection of milk. (sp), but I won't know for sure for another day or two!!

So there's the scary!! Here's the little baby girl is growing up waay to fast!! Already at two months she has such a big personality. Anyone that has spent any time with her can back me up on this. She's such a little busy body. She absolutely LOVE LOVE LOVES to be talked to and entertained. She just smiles and coos back!! I have also never in my life met a little one who loved to have their diaper changed. I kid you not, the second she's on that table...she's a talking and giggling. Almost as if to say "wait until you see what's in there this time". One thing is for sure, she is the absolute center of my world. I love her so much that it hurts...literally. My heart aches because she's growing up into this amazing tiny little person, but I know it would ache even more if she didn't.

Part of this growing up adventure was her first big road trip. We just had to take Lena Belle home while she was still "little". As exciting as our week was, I have never been so excited to get home. 1. because we were utterly and completely EXHAUSTED and 2. Man did I miss my bed!! I think Lena really enjoyed meeting everyone, but after being handled like a little rag doll for a week, she was soo tired.

So I guess that about sums up life lately. There are more pictures, and detailed stories that can be shared at another time. Right now I am just counting my blessings and giving thanks!! Happy Blogging World!!