One Month!!

Today my Little Lena is a month old!! I absolutely can not believe it has already been a month...where does the time go!! I am so amazed by the changes that happen with her everyday. Her little personality has absolutely captivated me. I love waking up in the mornings to her laying next to me grinning from ear to ear. And I have to admit that I love the fact that when I hold her, she quits crying. That crazy hair just continues to grow and her eyes follow you with a sense of urgency and knowledge!!

I am completely in love with this little person Josh and I created. Just when you think life can't be any better or complete, God gives you this amazing gift. Taking care of another life is the most challenging venture I've ever taken on, but by far the most rewarding and amazing. I can't wait to see what's in store for all of us this next month!

And so it begins....

Do you remember the feeling you used to get when watching a movie about the couple with a newborn baby?? How the mom always looked like a nasty mess (I'm talked matted hair, no makeup, puke stains all over the shirt) and neither parent could seem to get rid of those dark circles around their eyes? (undeniably caused by a sleepless night with baby) I would always think that this had to be some exaggeration of the "truth". Little did I know that today I would be sitting here with an unwashed matted ponytail, a nasty stain of puke on my nightgown, that I have yet to change out of, no makeup....and as horrible as it is to admit, teeth that haven't come in contact with my crest just yet!!

I have officially crossed into the world of mommy. As exhausted as I am from staying up most of the night with Lena, I am truly trying to enjoy every moment of this tiny stage of life she's in. She will be a month old in just a short week and already I can see a change in her personality, looks, etc.

The nights have suddenly become a fussy event. She has decided that bedtime, and getting up are her two least favorite activities. During these times she also tends to cluster feed...and talk about exhausting!! She's also developed this horrible "gunk" in her left eye. The pediatrician assures me it's just from her undeveloped tear ducts, but no matter how much I massage and wipe with warm water it just seems to look worse and worse. I'm talking her poor little eye is completely matted together in the mornings...very frustrating for us both.

She has come to really enjoy bath time...well not that she ever didn't like it. The warm water is like a miracle worker. She can be screaming about something, and the second you lay her in that tub....silence. She's even fallen asleep a few times...so this is slowly being worked into our bedtime routine.

Lena has also really started to smile and giggle a little more. In the mornings I can lay her on our bed looking at the ceiling fan and she will just smile and coo. Something about this household luxury amuses my little angel.

Josh and I have also learned that gassiness and going poo are two dramatic tasks for our baby girl. I mean you've never heard such noises coming from something so small...and I'm not just talking about the grunting!! We have also survived our first diaper rash...whew!! I was horrified that at only 3 weeks her tiny bum developed a red bumpy rash. Nothing to make you feel like a horrible parent then your child getting something that you deem to be preventable. We had been using desitin, but I found some sample packs of balmex (much thicker than the desitin) I decided to mix the two together and just glob it on at every change...and amazingly the rash was literally gone the next day. So my mission now is to find an actualy human size of balmex.

So to say the least....this new chapter of life has officially began!! No doubt that we are absolutely in for a wild and amazing ride!!

Nobody Tells You.....

A list of things that were never considered during my pregnancy......

Nobody tells you.....

1. That you just might HATE being pregnant. Maybe not all the time, but there will be moments when you look in the mirror and say...Who is that?

2. That the post birth is worse than the actual birth. I'm talking days of pain, and helplessness, all while trying to take care of a life that is completely dependent on you!

3. There will be days when all you can do is cry. So just cry, you're going to feel a LOT better!

4. That even though this tiny life lived inside of you for an entire nine months, they still feel like somewheat of a stranger when you first "meet"!

5. It's a treat when you can actually bathe, and dry your hair...and a miracle to actually curl your hair, and fix your makeup!!

6. More annoying then the hormonal crying, is the hormonal annoyances. You thought this would all be over and done with after you gave birth, but your husband and others will still get on your last nerves at times for no good reason!!

7. That you will suddenly become paranoid...of EVERYTHING! You suddenly notice every single danger around every corner, and will even lose sleep over it.

8. Even though there is that thing called a "mommy instict" and women have been doing this for millions of years, you will still have absolutely no idea what your doing, no matter how many times you have babysat in your life!

9. Breastfeeding can HURT. It's not supposed to, but when first learning, trust me, you will make a few mistakes. Not to mention the insane cramping from the contractions it can cause in your uterus!! (don't worry this has its amazing upsides...ie weightloss, and some nice..bigger..well you know!!!)

10. In your last trimester you will reach a stage of "miserable". You pray for the day that you can actually get comfortable to sleep again. What you fail to realize is that now you can get comfortable, you are not getting any sleep!!

11. And nobody can explain to you the joy of being a parent. There is absolutely no love like it in the entire world!!

Lena's Photo Shoot

Daddy Moment

So I realized that I haven't shared Josh's first "I know I'm a daddy" moment with you all!! The day we came home from the hospital I had this crazy long list of necesseties to get from the drug store. Being the wonderful person Joshua is he took off in the car, with Allie our dog, and headed for the CVS down the road. Luckily they have a drive thru, so Allie wouldn't have to be left alone in the car. He didn't return home for over an hour. Unfortunately, I was so wrapped up in nursing and getting comfortable....I honestly didn't notice he had been gone for so long. How horrible of me!!!!

When he returned he came up to the bedroom looking completely "guilty". Those infamous words..."you'll never guess what I just did" left his mouth. The thoughts skipping thru my mind ranged from wrecking the car, to leaving without getting my prescription filled. I was so not expecting to hear "I fell asleep in the parking lot"!! Poor thing had pulled up, given them that sheet of paper with all my essentials, pulled over, parked, and completely passed out.

Can you imagine what the ladies at the drive in were thinking!! Here's this crazy guy with a cockerspaniel in the car with a list of hemorrhoid creams, motrin, loratabs, lint brush...the list gets more and more ecclectic. To top it off the bum pulls over and falls asleep in their parking lot. I informed him he's lucky they didn't call the police to haul off the crazy!!!

Needless to say we got a great laugh out of his moment, and he quickly gave me permission to blog about it!! And of course how could I not...HILLARIOUS!! I should also mention that Little Lena christened him at the doctors by peeing on his outfit mom and dad got him for Easter!! Yup...he's definitely a daddy now!!!

Sigh of Relief!!

So after my post last night I decided to dive into some reflux research and see what I could come up with. Let's be honest, I can't go the next year without sleep!! Last night before laying Lena down for bed we noticed a change in her poo (sorry for the tmi). It had suddenly turned green!! Eww, I know!! (side note- when you become a parent you are suddenly very interested in all things bodily....it's the only way to know how your baby is doing since they can't communicate with you) This didn't scare or really concern me, but I thought it had to be a sign of something. So I began to type in some symptoms....green poo, spitting up, choking during feeding, spit up, and behold google introduced me to "oversupply of milk"!!

It's like a weight lifted completely off of my shoulders. The more I read up on it, the more I kept thinking....that's us. Poor Lena gets choked sometimes during feedings and i have to sit her up and pat her back to calm her down, and often times after a feed she gets the worse case of hiccups. She does spit up, and gag, but only after a feed as well.

So what is an oversupply of milk? Exactly that, your body is just producing too much and during the let down, or when the baby begins to feed, the milk just shoots out, which is just too much for the little one. Because of this the baby often times misses out on the hind milk...the part of milk that has all the nutrients needed for baby. The milk before that is just an empty calorie snack. Because I switch up every feed, my little one was clearly only getting the fore milk....basically eating a candy bar at every meal. This would also explain that crazy 12 ounce gain we had in the last week. Another symptom is the leaking of milk. No lie, I would wake up DRENCHED. I knew leaking would be expected, but not to the extent of a flood!!

So I decided last night to start implementing some of the suggestions. I fed Lena on the same "breast" for the next 4 feeds. This way it was completely emptied out and she received the nutrients needed. YAY....it worked! We had no more spit up, hiccups, choking, or green poo!! What a relief. Unfortunately though when switching over to the other breast this morning she had a few spit up episodes. That fore milk is just not thick enough and hard for babe to keep down!

Although Lena's doctor was convinced that what she has is reflux, something in my gut was screaming otherwise. And I will say after figuring out that I probably had an oversupply I was actually able to put her in her bassinet and I fell asleep! AMAZING!!

So I am living and learning!! And urge all mothers out there to follow your gut and get ALL the answers and possibilities....don't just give in to the "its common among babies" answer!!!

Can't Sleep....ever again!!

So after having my baby home for almost a week, I have discovered that I am paranoid. Poor Lena suffers from reflux, and after almost every meal spit up insues. I hate laying her down because there always seems to be some sort of gagging involved. I fight to get her to burp after most feeds, and notice when she finally does, she's so much more content and relaxed, but many of them don't come without a bit of struggle. I also have her bassinet propped up at an angle, hoping that gravity will do it's part.

And yet, I can't seem to sleep in between feeds because of this waking fear that she will choke. Crazy, I know, but it's all I can think about come bed time. Any other mommies suffer from some kind of paranoia!!?? Any suggestions on how to handle her reflux....I hate when the doctor gives you the standard "its fairly common" speech. Common for babies, yes, but for this first time mother, absolutely not!!

Alas my precious one has finally settled down and is peacefully resting!! Pray that I can do the same....atleast for a couple of hours tonight!

1 Week Old!!

Lena before her first doctors visit!! Her Uncle Preston got her this cute bib...it's still a little bib, but oh so adorable!!

So right at this very minute, exactly, my baby turned one week!! I can't believe it's already been a week since this angel graced us with her presence! There are absolutely no words to describe the overwhelming feelings of joy, gratefulness, and happiness. We truly are blessed and owe it all to God....he has been so good to us, more so than we deserve!! I absolutely could not imagine my life without this tiny little package!! It's fascinating how something so small can make such an impact!!

Today was also Lena Belle's first checkup. We couldn't have been happier to hear that everything is going great. She weighed in at 7lbs 12oz. That's 12 more than she weighed when we left the hospital. She has been having a few episodes of gagging and spitting up....which the Dr assured me is fine and normal. Most likely due to reflux caused by a muscle in her throat that just hasn't fully developed. This should resolve in the next few months. Luckily it's not acid reflux and causing her pain!!!

I am falling more and more in love with my little family. God has been sooo amazing to us and I couldn't picture life being anymore perfect than it is right here in this fantastic moment!!

Happy Easter!!

Just wanted to Wish everyone a very Happy Easter!! Today more than ever I understand the sacrifice God made by giving his only son!! We couldn't be more blessed and thankful for our little girl!!

Lena also wanted to say Happy Easter:

Chapter Two

So, as mentioned, there is a bit more to my labor story. You know how awesome my labor and the delivery went. I honestly couldn't have been blessed with better caregivers, or a more amazing experience. Not even I could have dreamt something this perfect up. The after part, however was a bit more grim.

During the final push, it was noticed that Ms. Lena was actually laying sideways. Because of this I suffered from a 3rd degree tear. The worse you can have is a 4th degree....so lets just say it wasn't pretty. I was on the table for quite some time being "worked" on. Dr. Booth was really upset about it, she truly thought that this was just going to be perfect and go smoothly, but hey something had to give!! As long as Lena was healthy and amazing, which she is, I could suffer a little.

While laying there I noticed myself getting extremely dizzy. You see, at CMC they don't do the whole "daddy walks the baby out to meet everyone" thing. As soon as baby is born they are immediately wiped dry and placed on the mom for atleast an hour of skin to skin time. This really amazed me, and in my own selfishness, made me happy. I hated the thought of doing all the work and having to be the last one to really get to see and know her...not fair!!

Anyways, like I said, while laying there with my perfect angel I noticed myself getting dizzy, hearing going muzzled, the usual signs for someone about to pass out. I told the nurses and they immediately started watching me closely. I was aloud to drink and eat jello..etc during my entire labor. In between pushes I made sure to catch a sip of water. You don't know how relieving that was to me. I couldn't imagine being there for the 13 hours or so I was with NOTHING to drink. Talk about a bad mood. So I tried to get myself a little hydration, just to see if that would help.

From this point on, I don't remember much. The nurses helped me get started on breast feeding Lena, but I remember having to close my eyes from getting sick with the room spinning. Luckily, this amazing little one was a natural and just latched right on as soon as she saw it coming! Josh commented one time on how pale I looked and after my BP was taken again the doctor was immediately called back in. They set me up on another IV and began pumping tons of fluids in me. My mom later told me that Dr. Booth was literally squeezing the bag to make it pump faster. Blood was drawn, and tests began. My white blood cell count was high and they believe that sometime after my water was broken I contracted an infection in my uterus from something. Before I even began pushing I was running a very slight fever (99.9) but after taking tylenol it immediately went back down, so no one thought anything of it.

I finally stabilized and was able to be pucked up and put into my wheel chair and taken to my room. We opted to let Lena stay in the nursery that night so I could sleep...I had been through a lot and was in no real position to attempt to take care of a baby. And with Josh being up since 5:30 I doubt he would have been too much help, since it was now already 4:30 in the morning....next day!!

Later that morning tests were ran on Lena and we found out we would be there until Thursday morning, just to monitor us both and make sure there was no infection and we were good. The next couple of days were rough. The first day I couldn't get up without the help of someone. Everytime I stood I got extremely dizzy and sick. It's weird, no one ever really talks about the "after" with labor. It's not so much a soreness that I was experiencing so much as a heaviness. My bottom literally felt as though it was just going to fall out.

Slowly but surely I got better...swelling went down, color back in my face, crazy hot flashes gone. On Thursday, however my heart rate was still extremely high and they wanted to do another round of blood work to be safe before letting me go home. I should mention all of Lena's tests came back perfect. My blood work was fine, but they are now thinking I have a anemia and may have lost more blood than originally thought...causing the dizziness and heart rate spikes. So I am on iron pills to help that...if it is the case.

All in all my labor experience was truly amazing. A few glitches here and there, but nothing I can't deal with and push through. Trust me, when they say it's all worth it in the end, they know exactly what they are talking about!! We visit the pediatrician Monday afternoon for Lena's first checkup! Keep her in your prayers that everything is still looking phenomenal!! Happy Blogging!!