I'm learning....

(this is in regards to my previous post)

So this whole being a mommy thing is still slightly new! And maybe that's because Lena changes on a day to day basis, which means the rules change also! While I am still pretty "uptight" about certain things, I have calmed down quite a bit!

I can absolutely remember feeling guilty for putting Lena in her swing to watch Baby Einstein while I would get ready. I felt horrible that she was basically strapped down and unable to do anything but stare mindlessly into the t.v. But she LOVED it, and I felt better because I took the time to get ready! Isn't it crazy what a shower and a little bit of makeup can do for your day to day moral!!??

I can also remember the first time she bumped her head on something! I was sent into a whirlwind of emotion, I think I even cried, and was soo afraid she had a cuncussion!! Now the child hits her head on something DAILY! She's a baby, just learning how to get around, and this is what they do!

On a personal note....I am in no mood for the "naughty" come bed time! And as a wife, I often find myself feeling guilty for this! But remember, I am 15 weeks pregnant, running around after an 11 month old, usually smell of pee, and baby food, hair in a ratty pony tail, etc etc etc. To want it, a woman has to feel sexy, and while Motherhood is beautiful and amazing....it does not make me feel sexy!!

I felt like such a failure when I quit breastfeeding Lena! And I LOVED doing it. After the biopsy I wasn't able to feed off of my right for a bit, and then I had a disc slip in my back, meaning I couldn't comfortably hold Lena to feed her. While I did pump (which I HATED) it wasn't enough. I quickly discovered how nice it was to be able to share that part of "bonding" (aka nightly feedings) with my husband! For the first time in MONTHS I was getting a full nights sleep...in shifts, but nonetheless it was amazing!

I also worried about what to feed Lena when we first started her on solids. Luckily she's not picky and there's really only a problem when her gums hurt! I quickly came to the conclusion that she will eat what she wants, and I have got to learn to deal with that. It's better for her to eat something then nothing at all!

So basically I am learning to relax, and take better care of myself! I am a much better mommy when I am relaxed, bathed, have a clean mouth etc!! My marriage is also much more enjoyable when I let things slide! Being that uptight with two little ones, well I don't think I would have survived....more likely I might have ended up in a straight jacket, courtesy of the hubs!! ;0)