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Thursday, February 4, 2010

If it wasn't hard enough....

So if I was lacking in the patience department before, this week it has only doubled!! You see, I know three girls (two today) that have and are having their babies today!! **sigh** Don't get me wrong, I am absolutely filled with overwhelming joy and pride for each of them, but I just feel like Lena can't get here quick enough. But then I have those moments when I can't believe she is almost here. I've never been a mommy, what if I am just not cut out for it!?

Of course I know that's not true. God would not have given me this precious gift if he didn't think I deserved or could handle it. Knowing that is all the reassurance I need. I know growing up my parents often drove me crazy. I had the kind that actually set rules and really did expect you to follow them. Lucky for them, I wasn't the rule breaking type of gal, not until college atleast. And by then I didn't live at home anymore!! I hated having to call my parents whenever I got some place, or decided a change of venue was in order for the night. I hated that I had to be home before all the fun really even began. I hated that I was soo afraid of disappointing my parents that I NEVER even dared to break the rules, it wasn't even an option!!

I hated those things, but couldn't be greatful enough for them now that I am older! Yes, my parents had rules, and yes I was expected to follow them. But because my parents set limits for me when I was younger, when I got older and was on my own, anytime I did something I knew they wouldn't be thrilled about I had this horrible pit in my tummy....guilt!! No, their rules didn't always prevent me from making bad choices in my adult life, but they did enable be to truly know right from wrong.

I only hope that Josh and I can be half the parents to Lena Belle as mine were for me. Sorry mom...if you are reading this and crying!! It wasn't intended to be a "sappy" story!! :0)

Soo...right now I am finding myself impatient and ready for her to get here, but I am sure once she is I would appreciate it if time just slowed to a steady pace, the good Lord knows I am not ready to deal with a teen just yet!! ;0)

2 comments:

Jessie and Batman

Ash- I think we need a new Belly picture! :-)

The Alexander Family of 4!

It doesn't seem like it now, but the next few weeks will go by so fast. You are going to be a great mommy because you had a great mommy, great mother, great aunts, and great cousins! I am sooooosooso excited for Lena Belle to get here too! Can't wait to see you next weekend!

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